The Little Things: First Touch vs. First Look

Photos by Stephannie Camosse, Mary Morgan, West on Jade and Embark

Some of the most meaningful decisions couples make for their wedding day aren’t about flowers, color palettes, or timelines, they’re about moments. The ones that ground you. The ones you remember long after the day is over.

That’s what The Little Things series is all about. And today, we’re looking at a beautiful decision many couples face: whether to share a first look or a first touch before walking down the aisle.

What’s the Difference?

A first look is when you see each other before the ceremony, just the two of you (and your photographer), in a private and often emotional reveal.

A first touch is more restrained but equally moving. You stand back-to-back or separated by a wall or doorway, reach for each other’s hands, and share a quiet moment, without actually seeing one another.

At The Boylston Rooms, we see more couples choosing a first look, about 60–75% in fact. But for those few who opt for a first touch, the moment is no less powerful.

Why Couples Choose a First Look

For many, a first look is about emotional connection and practical ease. You get a moment to really be together, to cry, laugh, hug, or simply breathe before the day picks up speed.

First looks also open the door for a more relaxed timeline. Most couples who opt for this moment do it about two hours before the ceremony. That allows plenty of time to take couple portraits, wedding party shots, and even family photos. Then after the ceremony? You’re free to head straight to cocktail hour and enjoy the party you’ve been planning.

We’ve heard time and again from couples who say, “I’m so glad we did it. That moment felt like ours.”

Photos by West on Jade

Why Some Choose a First Touch Instead

While a first look gives you visual and emotional intimacy, a first touch offers something a little more restrained, and just as meaningful.

These moments are typically quiet, emotional, and grounding. It’s a shared breath before the day begins. You’re connected, but still holding off on that first glance. It heightens the anticipation in a beautiful way.

At The Boylston Rooms, we’ve seen first touches take place in the courtyard, the ceremony room, and even by our industrial staircase where a perfectly placed wall lets you hold hands without peeking (even though she peeked in the photos below). The effect is soft, romantic, and emotionally charged in all the best ways.

Photos by Ash & Oak Photography

Where Photos Come In

Beyond emotion, there are some logistical perks to both options.

• First Look: Allows nearly all formal photos to be taken before the ceremony, leaving your social hour wide open.

• First Touch: Keeps the visual reveal for the ceremony but still lets you knock out some combinations of family and wedding party photos beforehand, saving time later.

• Neither: Totally valid, but expect to spend your full social hour taking all formal photos.

It really comes down to what you value most: preserving that “aisle moment” or soaking in a more private connection beforehand.

There’s No One Right Answer

We’ve seen couples feel overjoyed that they chose a first look, and others feel deeply grounded by a first touch. Some do neither and lean into tradition, embracing the anticipation of not seeing each other until the ceremony begins.

And that’s what we love most: it’s your call. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Just the moment that feels right to you.

At The Boylston Rooms, we’re always here to help you think through what works best for your day, your timeline, and your love story. Whether it’s hand-in-hand behind a doorway or eyes locked across a courtyard, we’ll help you make space for the little things that matter most.

Photos by Alison Marie, Ariel Grondin, West on Jade, Clay Taylor, Photos by Mae, Caroline Biela and Mary Morgan

Stay tuned for the next feature in our Little Things series - Have a “little thing” you’d love to hear us write about? Send us a DM on Instagram and let us know what you'd like to hear about!

Ready to start planning your own unforgettable wedding?

Email or call us to inquire! events@boylstonrooms.com - 413-548-4852